The Ten Commandments Of Driving in India . . .

Every kid now and then . . . wants to do a Schumacher, or an Alonso . . . or lately, a Hamilton. But I, on the other hand, want to become (and am being forced to become) quite the opposite of it all . . .

You see, India's roads will never let me become a good driver . . . so why waste all that time trying ?

So, ill try to become the absolute best of the absolute worst . . . .

Here are the commandments i plan to follow :

COMMANDMENT NO.1
"Thou shalt not use the dipper"

Sure they exist, but so what ??? Common Sense exists too, but do we use it ? I'm going to blind every motorist that comes from the opposite way . . . who cares if they get shoved up a tree ??

COMMANDMENT NO.2
"Thou shalt changeth the lanes without warning"

If you dont have insurance, that's your lookout. I may even bluff you by signalling left and then going right (that's a basketball trick, isnt it Mayank ??) . . . I may even practise the divine art of lane changing . . . if Bluelines can do it, why not me ????

COMMANDMENT NO.3
"Horn OK Please"

I'd have to put them power horns that would affect pedestrians the same way in which Metallica would affect Lata Mangeshkar. Ill just search for the most irritating one that I can find, plonk it in the car, and let it rip, at every possible oppurtunity (Bummer : whos needs oppurtunities ???).
Be it a silent zone, or a mental hospital (them patients will actually start worshipping me) . . . .
150 Decibel bappi Lahiri anyone ???

COMMANDMENT NO.4
"Thou shalt always parketh in a way that would affect the maximum number of people"

Double park, block atleast 3 cars' (or 10 bikes') space. If there's a gate, be sure to park in front of it . . . . Remember : Your'e the only person that matters . . . .

COMMANDMENT NO.5
"Thou shalt invoketh the pedestrians' wrath"

Honk your horns(as usual), chivvy them to the sidewalk (Don't we have laws against jay-walking ???), Maybe bump a few. Worth checking if your car meets pedestrians' safety standards . . . If not, so what ? Sue the car company !!

So this was part one. I shall return with part 2.

Cheers.